Onmywaytobeauty's Blog

Could my life be more frustrating?

July 21, 2010
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(Think Chandler Bing from Friends when reading my title!)

So, it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything.  What can I say?  I’m a busy part-time working/stay at home wife/mother… I don’t have time.  🙂  BUT I’m taking a moment now to let you know how I’m doing–my weight loss success or failure, and what all is going on in my life right now–believe me, it’s a lot!

As of this morning, I FINALLY got past the 190’s.  Not by much, but finally.  I got on the scale at 189 even this morning (my scale is digital and gives me the closest tenth of a pound).  I’ve been fighting with the low 190’s for weeks.  Finally, I’ve had a breakthrough, and I’m relieved and satisfied.  Weight loss to date: 68 pounds!  That’s since Christmas.  58 since my surgery on January 27th.

Now, as for the rest of my life… it’s been crazy.  My husband is getting medically retired from the Air Force.  We’re moving from Tucson, AZ, to Dayton, OH, and don’t know much of what we’re doing.  Probably will be staying with my parents for a while until we get settled.  My hubby’s going to be taking a principal/teaching job at a very small school that can’t afford to pay him enough for us to live on.  Therefore, I’ve been spending the last several months looking for a job for myself.  I’ve found a prospective house, but chances are we wont be able to get a loan, because we wont be able to pay for it…  I’m heading out next weekend with my kids and the dog to try to find myself a job.  If I have a job, we’ll have the money we need for a mortgage payment.  Hopefully.  Trying to pack and clean and organize my life while looking online for jobs half-way across the country and trying to not get scammed by all those evil people out there… more often than not, the responses I’ve gotten from prospective jobs have been scams.  It’s frustrating and discouraging!  How’s anyone supposed to find a REAL job, when the only responses are from scammers looking to steal what little money you have??  Anyway.

It’s a 3-day drive to family.  Glad I don’t have to do it by myself.  Having my big ol’ Copper with me will probably be a bother at times, but he’ll definitely make me feel safer.  Ain’t nobody gonna mess with us when we’ve got my monster.  🙂


And the Journey Continues…

April 2, 2010
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As of right now, I’m down 41 pounds!  59 to go before I see if I want to keep going.  Only 16 pounds away from being in the 100’s!  I’m wearing clothes I haven’t worn in ages.  I guess one good thing about never throwing anything away is that I have plenty to wear between now and my goal weight and wont have to waste money on the “in between” clothes.

My Emma just turned 4 at the end of March.  She amuses me.  When I first had my surgery, I wasn’t allowed to lift her or her sister for 4 weeks.  That was so hard for all of us.  Emma didn’t really understand and would get upset, and I decided to show her that I had “boo boos”.  She saw my incisions when they were still pretty fresh, and she understood that it hurt, and she had to be careful not to hurt me more.  Now, every once in a while when I lift her or squeeze her tightly against me, she’ll tell me to be careful not to hurt the boo boos on my belly.  She wants to see them to make sure that they’re all better, and when I show her the scars, she asks me if it hurts and if I’m going back to the doctor.  She’s such a sweet girl, very concerned about the plight of others.

For the record, I’m healing well.  Of course I have scars, but they’ll fade eventually.  I’m losing weight steadily.  Not as fast as I would like, but it’s coming off and staying off, and that’s really what matters.  I need to learn to have a little patience.  🙂

I still have a long road ahead of me, but I’m excited to see the progress I’ve made in just 2 months.  If I keep up this pace, I’ll accomplish my goal in another 3 or 4 months, which will be a miracle!

Day One

January 28, 2010
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This morning was the Big Day!  I was up by 5 am, and ready to leave for the sugery center.  Got there aroud 6:30.  Signed some papers and sat down to wait.  When I finally got called back to be prepped for surgery, it still hadn’t sunk in… My blood pressure was lower than usual, which surprised me.  104/50.  You’d think, given the nerves and stress and excitement that someone in my position would have, that it’d be spiking, and not dropping… oh, well.  I did feel pretty relaxed.  Until the anesthesiologist came in…  Dr. Monash came in, too, and discussed pain meds options.  He usually gives either Percoset or Vicodin.  I told him I already have both at home from when I got my wisdom teeth out, but he said he’d give me some more, anyway.  And then he went on to tell us that Vicodin has a street value of aboug $5/pill!  That’s a nice piece of information for a doctor to give his patients!  Oh, well.  I’m pretty sure he just filled us in on that to lighten the mood a bit.  He’s a nice guy.  When he left the room, Danny looked at me and said, “You never told me he was good looking…”  I laughed, and then he said, “NOW I know why you kept going back and were trying so hard to get this sugery!”  Yes, folks, he’s that good looking.  haha
A little after 7:30 they wheeled my bed out of the pre-op room and down to the operating room, where I had to get on another bed… getting strapped down is the last thing I remember.  And then I woke up, and the first cohearant thought in my head was “dear God, what did I do to myself?”  I felt like I was choking… they must have just barely taken the tube out of my throat.  It’s still a little sore.  My stomach dind’t hurt much at the time, but I had (and have) a horrible pain in my shoulder/back and chest from where they injected gas (CO2) into me.  Aparently, it will take 24 hours to get absorbed into my system, and I’ll just have to suffer until then. 

We stopped to pick up our kids on the way home from the surgery center.  They had such a blast with Shelli and Jennifer last night.  I was so excited to see them and hug them.  I wont be able to pick them up for a month.  It’ll be hard enough for me, but they wont understand.  And I don’t know how to explain it. 

I got home and climbed the stairs to my bedroom.  Slowly.  Danny got me some water and a Vicodin, and I fell asleep for a couple of hours.  When I woke up, I called to Danny to come and help me out of the bed and back down the stairs so that I could be around people.  And I wanted to call my mom.  So, then the girls woke up from their nap, and Emma was running a muck around the house, and slammed into the couch where I was laying.  Danny cautioned her to be gentle because I have “boo-boos” on my belly.  So, then she wanted to see!  I lifted my shirt and let her look at my incisions and told her not to touch.  Looking at the 5 incisions, I wondered to myself if they are going to leave big scars.  Emma wanted to look at them several times during the course of the afternoon and evening. 

So, let me tell you what I’ve ingested today.  It’s not much.  The first couple of days are all clear liquids, so I had a glass of water (about 16 ounces, total), about a tablespoon of jello that I mixed with some liquid protein when I made it, about 3 sips of chicken broth, and about a third of a diet green tea snapple.  I’m trying to avoid the vicodin, so I’m taking some extra-strength tylenol.  It doesn’t seem to quite do the job.  My abs feel like I did an extensive ab workout, then did it again–super sore.  My back and neck and chest are what hurt the most, though.  So much pressure and a burning feeling.  But I don’t have any regrets.  I’m glad I did it, and I know it’ll be worth the pain and frustration and the work in the end.  So, now I’m ready for bed.  Sleep is so welcome, and I hope it comes! 

Not the mama…

January 10, 2010

So, I was driving my minivan with my two girls in the back seat, on the way back from picking up groceries.  Now, Emma is almost 4, and Victoria just turned 2, and she can’t quite grasp the difference between saying “mama” and “Emma”, so they both come out “Mama”.  Now, she’s in her car seat yelling “Mama!  MAMA!!” So, I say “What?” and Emma replies, “Not you!”  And I laughed at her, thinking, “am I not the mama??”.  Then Emma says, “I’M mama!”  So, if she’s mama, than who am I?  I asked her this, and she states, “I’m Mama, YOU are Emma!”

About 2 minutes later, the part that just warmed my heart, Emma turns to her baby sister and says in her sweet voice, “I love you, Victoria (E-poya).  I love you so much.” 

I really hope that, that never changes.  That I can raise my kids to love each other, and support each other and depend on each other.   I really want to instill good values in my children, and all I can do is hope and pray that when the time comes for them to make their own decisions and go their own ways, that they’ll remember what they were taught and how they were raised, and not stray from those values.

It’s all so frustrating!

December 15, 2009
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I’ve been thinking, recently, about how frustrating military life can be.  I mean, I spent 3 1/2 years in Germany, during which time my husband was deployed to Iraq twice, and we missed countless holidays and births and special occasions that are meant to be spent with family,  only to come back to the States (thank you, God!!), and be dropped in the middle of the desert.  Don’t get me wrong; compared to Germany, Tucson, AZ, is a kind of heaven.  But… I don’t know… don’t you think they could just NOT tease me, and either drop me on another continent, or let me live where all of my family is?  My parents and my sisters are ALL in the same place, and that place is in the same town as an Air Force base.  There’s no reason they have to be so cruel as to put me so close (compared to before), and yet too far away to visit without breaking the bank.  And now, it’s Christmas time, Thanksgiving is just recently passed, and my sister is on her way to the hospital to have a baby.  I have no idea when I am going to see him…  It’s all just so frustrating.  I think I might rather be in Germany, on any other continent, really, than to be this close, and not be able to get closer.  It’s beyond frustrating.  It’s downright infurriating, sometimes!!!  These are things that families are supposed to be together for, that they’re supposed to share…  and now I sit here in the dark, looking at the lights on my Christmas tree, wondering when I will be with my family again.  Don’t get me wrong–I LOVE my husband and kids, they really are the best–but my sisters and I, and our parents… we’ve always been close.  Even when we were fighting.  And Christmas was always a very special time for us.  Going out with our dad to find the perfect tree (even now, I call him up to check and see that I’m getting a good one), decorating that tree together as a family; baking cookies and Jewish coffee cake and pumpkin bread and endless goodies with my mom; wrapping presents with my dad on Christmas Eve… listening to Mariah Carey Merry Christmas over and over and over and over……  You’d think that, after 3 Christmases away from home, that I’d be used to it, and start my own family traditions (and I really have been trying), but there’s just something about those old memories that just come to the surface this time of year and make me nostalgic and lonely, even surrounded by my kids and husband.

So, all of that rambling to say what?  I don’t really know.  I guess I just needed to vent.  I’m waiting up for news about my sister who’s having a baby right now, and I guess I’m just overwhelmed with all of the stuff that I’m missing.

Woman Found Dead in Pile of Clothes

December 1, 2009
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A local husband came home from a long night at work to find his wife buried in a pile of clothes at the foot of the stairs of their home.  Twisted ankle and broken neck seem to be the cause of death.  The culprit: a LeapFrog radio left on the stairs.  It seems that the wife was carrying a pile of laundry down the stairs after a long day with the kids.  Said LeapFrog radio was on the stairs, hiding from sight beneath the clothes, and proceeded to trip up the woman, causing her to tumble down the stairs to her laundry-padded death. 

Services will be held this weekend at whatever time you’re unable to make it.

This could very well have been my story, if I didn’t have some uncannily quick reflexes.  Thank God for well-installed railings…

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